Just a few days ago my breath was taken away for a few short seconds out of no where and then you came across my mind. I knew at that point you were with me and giving me that sign of comfort. As if you were holding my hand trying to reassure me that when I feel the tight lump feeling in my throat dreading for this day to appoarch that you will be right here with me looking over my shoulder as I'm writing this. I'm guessing you knew that I definitely needed to feel your presence among me with every word that I write. Since I couldn't come to terms to do this when everyone else did, just didn't have it in me and I sure of enough wasn't ready LoL I'm not even sure that I'm really ready to do this now on YOUR 1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY. If I could have prolonged it forever best believe I would in a heartbeat. Especially knowing that I need to be prepared for when something so devastating is about to happen. I can't handle all the emotions that hit you at one time being so overwhelmed I flipping forget to breathe and then BOOM here comes Anxiety on top of the Panic Attacks. Yeah I know LoL I can't even tell ya which one is worse🤗 WHYYY LARRY!!!! This WAS NOT something that I could try to occupy my mind with doing something else or just remaining to constantly have things to do so I wouldn't have time to think. Instead you were all that I thought about just constantly on my mind then there is always a reminder of you. Whether it's a picture, a song or even my kids venting to me about Papa Larry and how every time we seen him we ate pizza because Papa Larry said that's going to be our thing, our special time that he always made whenever we seen him and that how you have 2 favorite toppings for your pizza.(Extra Cheese or Sausage) Or how La~La resembles you in every way possible that you could ever imagine 😍😍 Jennavia is your female twin and she instantly makes my heart melt, my cheeks get Rosey and all I do is smile the moment I see her and never want to leave her side the whole time I'm with her. That sister of mine fills all those emotions with some kind of content just knowing for the time I'm with my sister that Im able to be with you once again, able to hug you once again and never want to let go, able to tell you I love you once again and hear you say it back, able to get another chance to let you know again how much I truly appreciate you from the bottom of my heart for raising me as your own since I was 4 or 5 and never once had you ever made me feel like I was less then a daughter to you, but rather a step daughter. You would never introduce or consider me as your step daughter. It was ALWAYS I'm your daughter and even my last time seeing you and physically hugging you saying I love you and I always will love you since you are one of the people who has a special place in my heart forever. You gave me the best childhood memories that anyone could ever ask for and I will always have you to thank that if I could go back to that time, I wouldn't be able to run fast enough. Words can't describe how important you really are to me or how I feel about you. You gave me the most valuable and precious thing that would ever matter to me and it made a everlasting impact that is and always will forever be unforgettable. You showed me how a little girl should be loved by a father and that it's all about how you make the best out of things instead of a what makes the best out of things. Larry you made a whole day of measuring the yard and getting the pool set up for us as special as it would of been for someone else taking their daughter to get a toy. That showed me it's the simple things that matter the most and what else could be any more simple then showing how much you care for someone especially when it's a child. No matter how bad of a day you had or how busy of a day you had or were having you ALWAYS made sure you spend time with me whether it was doing yard, watching TV together or taking me out front to ride my bike. You made sure that I knew how important it is to show your child how much they mean to you and how special you make them feel just by doing a simple thing of making the time to spend together. I enjoyed every moment that you ever had made for me and just to know how special every moment was to me that is what I always and forever will cherish close to my heart. Even though your dancing in the sky now, I hope you save a dance for me. I will never forget my last time hugging you, I told you I love you, you a gave a kiss on the cheek before telling me that I will always be your daughter and that I am your oldest first daughter then you have me another kiss on my cheek. Your still important to me from up there so make sure you dance your way down and continue keeping your star gazing protection watch over us. My Guardian Angel👼 I Love You.